How To Stop Emotionally Eating
Sarah, how do I stop emotionally eating?
this is a question we received from one of our blog readers recently.
You know my instinctual response?
Don’t.
Don’t stop emotionally eating.
deep breath. hang with me for a minute, so I can explain.
The pain of feeling like you’re caught in an emotional eating cycle is real. For many people, it goes something like this…
➝You start your day, vowing to “make good choices” or “do good” or “stick to my plan!”
➝You’re busy. You’re focused on your to-do list. You check boxes, power through your responsibilities, more gets piled on. The stress piles on. But you keep going.
➝Finally you have a break. Time just for you. A chance to exhale. Your bandwidth is low so you grab something that looks good.
➝Next thing you know the food is gone. You realize you're in the void that is TikTok (IG, Netflix, whatever it is!). Panic and shame set in.
➝The critical narrative starts, “I can’t get my shit together!” “What is wrong with me!” “I must be addicted to food!” “I’ll start fresh tomorrow.
➝And repeat.
Maybe your cycle is similar. Maybe it’s a little different. Regardless, the pain and feelings of helplessness that result from feeling caught in cyclical behaviors are so valid.
So, what can we do about it?
To start, it feels most important to be curious if what you’re experiencing has roots in deprivation or restriction. Are you eating 3 meals and 3 snacks per day? Are you avoiding carbs, fat, or sugar? Are you attaching moral judgments to the food you’re consuming?
if so, there’s your place to start.
Where there is restriction, there will likely be backlash or disconnected eating. It’s not a personal flaw or failure, it’s your body’s natural mechanism to survive. Remember, bodies want (and deserve) to be fed.
Frequently.
Adequately.
next, zoom way out.
What is your stress level like? How does your stress level increase throughout the day? How aware are you of how that feels in your body? Or, are you disconnected from how it feels? What do you do to relieve that stress early and frequently throughout the day?
Imagine a little Instapot. Heat and pressure builds, builds, and builds. Until the pressure valve releases and all the steam comes pouring out.
If not, it’ll explode, right?
Same for you.
Your nervous system can only tolerate so much stress and pressure until it needs some release. For some people that comes in the form of disconnecting from it all while consuming food.
can you start to look at your periods of emotional eating as a sort of red flag that something emotionally needs tending to?
How can you start to release your proverbial steam a little more during the day?
If you have no other tools to cope with emotional overwhelm, thank goodness you have emotional eating as a tool to help you be a bit more regulated at the end of a long day.
if you find yourself on the heels of an emotional eating episode, add in a coping tool.
Taking away the only coping tool you have (emotional eating) is bound to backfire. Give yourself the gift of looking at the eating experience with compassion and tag in something else that will soothe your tense body, ground your anxious thoughts or provide rest to your exhausted soul.
next, what other coping tools can you start to add to your day?
Maybe it’s more frequent check-inst with your stress level. More boundaries around what you say “yes” to, or how you come back to yourself with curiosity about what your needs are. Perhaps it’s finding more ways to invite energy into your body in a connected and kind way.
finally, remember that eating is inherently emotional.
As humans, eating has always been and will always be an emotional experience.
It can be regulating to our nervous systems.
It can be pleasurable.
It can be celebratory.
It can be connecting.
It can be a tool that we use to self-soothe.
Instead of white knuckling it to stop emotional eating, can you turn toward the experience with grace and compassion, staying curious about how the eating experience might have served you in that moment?
This work is hard and this work is nuanced. Which is exactly why we do what we do. If you’re ready to understand your patterns and develop more tools for your coping tool box, reach out. We'll be ready to support you!
🧡,
Have a questions you’d like us to answer on the blog? Go ahead and send it to me in an email here!
Reclaim Therapy provides specialized disordered eating therapy in Pennsylvania.
We’re a group of therapists passionate about helping people recover from disordered eating, body shame, and diet culture in a compassionate and embodied way. We also specialize in treating trauma and body image concerns. Reclaim therapy is happy to offer support from Horsham, PA office and online. Contact us today by clicking the button below!
Other Services at Reclaim Therapy
Eating disordered therapy isn’t the only service our team offers. If you are seeking more specialized support, we can also offer EMDR therapy, trauma therapy, therapy for binge eating, body image therapy, and online coaching. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!