New Years Eve 2020 is finally here.

A breath of relief for some who are ready to say BYEEE! to arguably one of the hardest years of many of our lives.

And, for others, just another day, another midnight, another new day to come tomorrow.

Wherever you are on the spectrum, I hope you that it’s valid as hell to be there.

Thanksgiving is definitely going to be different this year! For me, it will be the first Thanksgiving in 10 years that I haven’t hosted.

I honestly have mixed feelings!

Some relief that I’m not going to spend the week shopping, prepping, cleaning, hosting, cleaning, dodging family dynamics, cleaning, cooking and cleaning some more.

And, I’m sad that 2020 has looked the way it has, leading us to this point. The burnout, the collective exhale of grief and the ever cyclical question... wtf is actually happening?!

Something that's pretty clear for most of us suffering with food and body concerns is that the dieting mentality is something (a force really!) that permeates throughout our lives.

The dieting mentality is a mindset that is planted and driven by our dieting-obsessed culture. Diet-culture operates in black and white, good or bad, focused on numbers, measurements, rules, judgement, guilt and shame.

The dieting mentality is how we’ve internalized those messages and how they influence our relationship with food, our food and movement choices, and our bodies.

The dieting mentality erodes trust in our bodies and replaces it with rules and shoulds that we feel like we have to follow.

In times that we feel completely out of control- times when fear, anxiety, grief, trauma and the unknown are heavy and pulsing through our bodies, it's easy to find ourselves turning to old ways of coping.

Hoping, grasping, for a semblance of control in ways that feel contained. Nostalgic. Safe.

In this time of collective trauma, I encourage you to notice.

I want to validate all of the things you're feeling, .

As we navigate the coming weeks it feels important to have some tools readily available to soothe ourselves.

If you're feeling tight with anxiety, I want you to know that your body, your nervous system, is doing its job.

When we feel our safety and security is threatened, our body's natural response is to move to fight or flight mode. Enter worrisome thoughts, irritability, spiraling thoughts and tension throughout our bodies.

We need this anxiety to activate to help protect ourselves from danger. But, when the intensity of it becomes overwhelming, it can be very hard to make grounded decisions, be with what matters most to us, plan ahead and mobilize to act on those plans.

Because every body has a natural set point weight range.

This is the weight range where your body naturally settles when you’re eating in response to hunger and fullness and moving your body in ways that feel good.

The body is smart. It wants to be where it is genetically comfortable. It wants to maintain its natural weight range, despite our cognitive and cultural desires to be a different weight, or body shape and size.

To be embodied is to fully inhabit your body. To be awake and attuned to the pulses, the sensations, the FEELINGS, the intuition, that is alive within your body. 

To be embodied is to care for the body subjectively, instead of objectively. To engage in self-care from a place of compassion, driven by your values that are attuned in mind and body, instead of the cultural values of fixing, working toward thinness and "health".

To be embodied is to live your life in your body. In the here and now. Compassionately connected, regardless of the image. And beginning to trust and believe in your body.

Do you know what YOUR voice sounds like? If you're anything like me, I'm sure you know what your inner-critic sounds like if she/he/they're spouting off at the mouth all the dang time. 

Something I want to encourage you to consider is that you are not your inner critic. 

Yes, your inner critic is a part of you, but your most healthy, authentic and compassionate part also exists. It may just need the grace and space to join the party.

How do we start getting to know OUR voices?

Happy international no diet day!

Now, some people will see the hashtag #internationalnodietday and share about their epic cheat day from their keto diet, going ham on FroYo because #yolo, or breaking whatever fad it is they've jumped onto. 

But, really, today is a day to honor and celebrate that each and every one of us have the right to live freely and authentically in our bodies- in the here and now- without manipulation, without stigma and without oppression.

When it comes to healing from years of body shame and body loathing it can feel counterintuitive work toward this one thing...

Decentering your appearance.

And do what instead, you ask?

Centering your in the moment experience of living and feeling in your body.

"I want to lose weight because I want to get healthy."

"I need to lose weight because I need to get healthy."

"I'm not healthy in this body."

Sarah, have you ever had similar thoughts?

I'm sure you have! Because most people I chat with everyday have them, have had them and are bound to continue have them!

Can we talk a little bit about why?

*This blog contain a brief discussion on loss and death*

Last week 2 people I knew and deeply respected throughout different seasons of my life died.

Now, these folks weren’t active participants in my current life, but both of these deaths seemed quite sudden, untimely and unexpected.

The shock and waves of sadness for them, their families, their friends and their communities were palpable in my mind and in my body as the week closed out.

And it really got me thinking about legacy.

The decision to take steps to recover from disordered eating and body shame is a difficult one. It’s a decision that many people make because they really have no clue what else to do.

Diets? Tried them. ALL.

Clothing sizes? Got them. ALL.

Self-judgement? Done it. ALL.

Realizing that you’ve been caught in a seemingly endless trap of restriction, binging, judgement, shame and blame can leave you feeling helpless and hopeless.

Healing from dieting cycles, binge eating, disordered eating and body shame is hard work.  

It’d be hard work if we lived in a vacuum! But what makes it even harder is living in a culture that glorifies and praises dieting tendencies and intertwines our worth with our bodies, our nutritional intake and our even health status.

In my work with women and in my writing, I bring up the concept of diet culture often. I wanted to dive into the concept a bit to provide you with context and some food for thought that I’m guessing could be needed, especially around this time of year (hello resolutions!).

Bad body image days, they happen to all of us. 

This time of year can bring on all the feels. Which, in my experience, can significantly amplify how we feel in, and about, our bodies.

So, as we move through this stressful season of the year, it's important to be reminded of and armed with ways to cope with those tough moments, or days.

Between complex family relationships, a layered and vulnerable relationship with your body and food and a seemingly boundless feast filling your field of vision, it’s no wonder why the thought of the day can insight anxiety (dare I say dread?!).

And to top it off, for many women struggling with binge eating, this is just the beginning of a long, quite possibly painful holiday season.

If you’re tempted, or are planning to rid your house of the goods while your kiddos are sleeping, I want to encourage you to take a deeeeeep breath and consider an alternative.

Sugar doesn’t have to be that scary

You might be thinking, “NO, Sarah, you don’t understand! I’m ADDICTED to sugar! I’ll house everything from the trick or treating bags if I don’t get it out of here!”

I want you to know I hear you. I totally appreciate why you feel like you’re addicted to the chocolatey goodness. In your lived experience, it’s probably brought about certain can’t stop won’t stop thoughts and behaviors.

Something that one of my clients recently shared with me was that body image work is like an endless marathon. As you move into healing, the end point seems to get further away. But, over time you build up endurance to keep going, to keep moving, to keep believing in yourself. So much so that your initial anticipated destination doesn’t seem all that important. It’s process and the journey that really heals and truly sets you free.