Reclaim You- The RAIN Tool For Challenging Emotions
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In this conversation, Sarah and Abby discuss a tool called RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) that can be used to navigate challenging emotions. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and allowing difficult emotions to be present, rather than trying to avoid or fix them. They also discuss the ongoing nature of the investigation process and the need for self-compassion. The conversation highlights the idea that the goal of mindfulness practices is not to be present all the time, but to build tolerance for being present with challenging emotions. The tool of RAIN can be customized to individual needs and can help cultivate a different relationship with difficult emotions.
Takeaways
The RAIN tool (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) can be used to navigate challenging emotions.
Recognize and allow difficult emotions to be present, rather than trying to avoid or fix them.
Investigate with curiosity and care, exploring how the emotion is experienced in the body and thoughts.
Nurture with self-compassion, offering kindness and support to oneself in the face of difficult emotions.
The goal of mindfulness practices is not to be present all the time, but to build tolerance for being present with challenging emotions.
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Sarah (00:01)
Hey everybody, welcome back to Reclaim You. Abbie is here today and we are gonna do something a little bit different. Abbie's gonna give us a tool, something kind of like tangible to use in moments that might feel hard or distressing or something like that. So hey Abbie.
Abby (00:19)
Yeah. Hi, Sarah. Hi, everyone. Yeah, I'm excited about the tool in the tool belt idea. Maybe there'll be more of this to come because I just recently rediscovered this tool that had been in my metaphorical tool belt, but it was like way deep down or fell out for a little, little about it. It fell out. It was on the basement floor. and then when I recently, you know, found it on the basement.
Sarah (00:27)
Mm -hmm.
huh, it fell out. Yeah, got misplaced. Yeah.
Abby (00:45)
metaphorically speaking, I was like, my goodness, this was so helpful back in the day when I first learned it and thought, and I actually, since having rediscovered it, I've been using it a lot for myself and finding it to just be really timely. So maybe it'll be timely for those listening too.
Sarah (01:04)
Yes, I love it, I love it. Before we dive into that, let's talk about ReclaimU and what reclaiming you has shifted into as we enter this second year of the podcast together. Yeah, so these days, what does ReclaimU mean to you?
Abby (01:19)
Yeah.
Yeah, such a big question. And speaking of timeliness, I feel like everything happening for me lately is just like I'm listening to a podcast or I'm reading a book and I'm like, it all comes back around. So I just this morning was listening to someone talk about their own definition of healing, their own definition of, I guess, really, if I were to put in place of the word healing from their perspective, like reclaiming themselves makes sense.
What they said, this is not my own answer for what reclaim you means to me right now, but I loved it so much and I want to kind of let it sift around in my brain a bit more. she said for her healing, at least, you know, for her means being able to show up with all parts of her. So being her most authentic self, showing up with all parts of her in as many spaces as possible, knowing that like,
Sarah (01:59)
Love that.
Abby (02:17)
there will be some spaces where maybe all parts of us can't be present for many different reasons. But her vision of that is being able to show up in as many spaces as possible as her full self with all the various parts of her. And it was just, yeah, it really like resonated with me and made me think. And so it's not a fully fleshed out answer by any means, I have to sit with it some more, but it does seem to connect with
Sarah (02:29)
Mm.
I love that.
Abby (02:45)
the idea of reclaiming you. How can we reclaim the many different parts of ourselves? So much so that we can show up in the world as much as possible with all of those parts. Present, yeah.
Sarah (03:01)
Yeah. I love that. Love that.
Abby (03:05)
It'll be evolving, an evolving meaning for me.
Sarah (03:06)
Totally. my gosh, yeah. I think for everyone, right? Like all the times that over the past year we asked people like, what does it mean to you? Everyone had these like beautiful personal answers and yeah, it evolves and in each different season of life, I feel like it's probably gonna look different for everyone.
Abby (03:26)
Yeah, yeah, definitely. And even just thinking to myself, I'll probably use this example throughout today's conversation, but I was with a lot of family this weekend, which is not typically the case. And yeah, in the in that idea of we're constantly evolving, and that idea of reclaim you is constantly evolving, I did notice for myself, more authenticity, more, okay, I can be
this way, that way, the other way in this space. And maybe that hasn't always been the case or not even just family, right? But maybe with friends or maybe in certain locations. Yeah, yeah, it was just an interesting thing to notice. And maybe for those listening, it'll be interesting for you all to notice too, like where do I feel like I can show up most?
Sarah (04:00)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Abby (04:17)
as my most authentic self. And maybe that's what reclaim you means to me right now. Like most authentic self reclaiming that version.
Sarah (04:19)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, let's dive in. Let's dive into this tool that you found on the metaphorical basement floor and you put back in your toolbox.
Abby (04:29)
Yeah.
Yes. Yes. So the tool that I have found or rediscovered is a tool that was coined by Tara Brock, who is a psychologist, a meditation teacher. She has a really expansive, extensive, maybe is the word podcast of meditations, talks, lots of good stuff. And,
She has a practice that's called a RAIN. It's an acronym which we'll dive into. I don't know how maybe she would describe it, but at least for me, it's been a really wonderful tool in navigating, sitting with challenging emotions. So, you know, I was thinking about this before we hopped on and so often we're told, maybe in our families, maybe at school, growing up,
but largely in the culture that there are positive emotions and negative emotions and we don't want to feel and express the negative ones. Like just be with the positive, get rid of those other ones. We don't need to see that. We don't need to hear about that. And we certainly don't want to feel that. And when we hear this message or see this message play out in so many ways, at least for me, I know for sure I have internalized that idea that to be
Sarah (05:28)
Mm.
right.
Abby (05:53)
angry, sad, anxious is not a good thing. So we must fix it, get rid of it, avoid it, and certainly don't show it. You can think of, I mean, I've watched a lot of TV and so often I'm seeing on these reality TV shows, don't cry, don't cry. I don't mean to make you cry. Like there's all this, you know, avoidance of those challenging emotions. So this practice has been really helpful in allowing me to be with.
Sarah (05:54)
Mm -hmm.
Yep.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Abby (06:18)
the more challenging emotions and letting them be there without maybe with some judgment but holding judgment lightly but not me jumping straight into like fix it, get rid of it, push it down. So I don't know if there's anything before I dive into the actual tool that you wanted to say about that, anything you're thinking of.
Sarah (06:30)
Yeah.
No, I think that that was a beautiful description. Absolutely. Yeah. And just thinking about the reality TV stuff, right? It's like the message that we get, you said this, but the message that we get over and over again, that it's not okay to feel the intensity of these things or the less desirable emotions that it's bad and that we should avoid it and that people don't want to hear it and be with you through it.
Abby (06:54)
Mm.
Yeah. And even in conversations with people that I've been having recently, it's, it's, I feel like we've, a lot of us have internalized that idea that some emotions are just not okay to feel and or express. And I'm learning too, that a lot of people have internalized this idea that I can't even tolerate this emotion. So I better get rid of it quick because.
Sarah (07:10)
huh.
Yes.
Abby (07:25)
If I stay with it any longer, I don't know if I can even handle it. Cannot go there. So this has been a helpful practice with that too. So yeah, I'll dive into it.
Sarah (07:29)
Yeah. Yeah.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. I love it. Love it. Tell us, yeah, tell us more about rain.
Abby (07:42)
Yeah, so rain again, Tara Brock is the person who created this and it's an acronym. I like that it's rain because you can think of weather patterns. They're temporary. They don't last forever. Just like emotions. The sun will shine eventually and maybe we just need to sit in the rain with an umbrella or we can let it pour down on us, whatever you're feeling that day. So rain, easy to remember, at least for me.
Sarah (07:54)
Love that! Yes!
Mm -hmm.
Abby (08:09)
for the following. So R stands for, and I'm looking down at Tara Brock's PDF here to help me be refreshed. But anyway, R, recognize what is going on. A, allow the experience to be there just as it is. I, investigate with interest and care. And, nurture with self -compassion. So, I'm happy to kind of like give my own personal example this past weekend.
Sarah (08:35)
Yeah, yeah, I think, I think that's great. Yeah, make it really tangible.
Abby (08:37)
to dive into each of these.
Cool. Yeah. So for me, I'll be super transparent. Anxiety is one of those emotions that I just, you know, it's very uncomfortable. Don't like being in it for all that long. Have definitely internalized that message or idea that this is not good to feel. We got to get rid of it. Like, don't feel that anxiety. There's nothing to be anxious about. You're fine.
Sarah (08:52)
Yeah.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Abby (09:11)
and certainly don't show your anxiety. So once I start to feel that inkling of anxiety rising to the surface within me, I have a tendency to pretty quickly go into fix it mode or get rid of it mode. What can I do to solve this anxiety and just feel better? So this weekend I was hosting an event with a lot of family and friends and I'm not a host.
Sarah (09:13)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Abby (09:36)
By nature, I chose therapy as a profession for a reason. Not my, I don't know, maybe it's a strength, but it's not some place I like. I don't love hosting, right? Lots of anxiety.
Sarah (09:43)
Mm -hmm. It takes a lot of energy to like do all of that. Yeah.
Abby (09:48)
Yeah, lots of anxiety there. And like the anxiety makes sense when you're hosting anything like of course anxiety is going to pop up. And so I noticed that anxiety coming up within me and was able to, again, because I recently found this tool again, was able to use the R, right? Recognize what's going on. And that for me was very, it could, it was the simplest of what Tara Brock calls mental whispers. anxieties here.
Sarah (10:06)
Mm -hmm.
Abby (10:16)
or that part of me that gets super anxious when planning things. She's here right now. She's feeling the anxiety. So R can really simply be just that, like a very quick mental whisper. There's that anxiety part, or there's that feeling of anxiety. Simple, just naming it. The A, allowing it to be there, at least for me, is the hardest part, because I want to get rid of it.
Sarah (10:39)
So hard, yeah.
Abby (10:42)
but allowing to be there. I'm reading what she has written on her own PDF. Again, the shortest of mental whispers. It's okay. This belongs. Yes, it could be like any of those. I think for me, I tend to go with just like, it's okay. It's okay that the anxiety is here.
Sarah (10:59)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Abby (11:01)
especially because for me, the internalization of it's not okay is so strong. So to say it's okay is a big deal. And I love this family member so much, but this family member this weekend was like, you don't need to be anxious, it's fine, you're fine. And I had to say like, no, it's okay. I'm allowed to be anxious. This can be here. So yes, like A, allow.
Sarah (11:06)
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
It's okay. This can be here. This can be here. It's here for a reason.
Abby (11:30)
I was doing the allow internally and externally. I was like, no, it's okay. It's okay that this is here. I investigate with interest in care. What I did here, this part I'll wanna like kind of talk through with you a little bit more too, because there's a lot of nuance with the eye. What Tara Brock says on this practice is when we're investigating with interest in care, it can be helpful to.
Sarah (11:33)
It's okay. It's okay.
huh.
Abby (11:54)
really notice how am I experiencing this emotion? Is it physical? Like am I noticing in my body? I certainly was with the anxiety, the heart pounding, the dry, like the dryness of my mouth even.
you know, what am I, what am I thinking? Is it showing up in my thoughts? So like for me, the thoughts really were, my gosh, everything's going to go terribly wrong. What am I going to do? Lots of questions we can ask ourselves when we're investigating.
I'm trying, I'm deciding if I want to like stay here. Maybe I'll move on to the end and then I'll go back to the eye. Cause I think there's a lot that we can dig into with the eye when we, when it is helpful to stay in the investigation, when it might not be the wisest choice to like really sink into a challenging emotion. Like I think there is a time and place to really sit with it. And there is a time and place to take a beat and maybe distract. Yeah.
Sarah (12:26)
Sure.
Yeah.
Yep. Yep.
Mm -hmm.
Abby (12:50)
And then so again, so I recognized up anxieties here I allowed it's okay. I investigated yeah, my heart is pounding. My throat is dry. I'm a little shaky even. I love that question of like, what is this needing from me because then it goes nicely into the end, which at least in my experience can be easily forgotten, but nurture with self compassion. Okay, I'm noticing what's happening.
I'm allowing it to be here. I'm not trying to fix it, push it away, solve it. Is there anything I can do in this moment to be a little bit more compassionate with myself? Something she writes here, again, all of these, like when reading it seems so simple, but they are so powerful. Again, the mental whisper of I'm here with you. It's okay. Like the hand to heart gesture is such a powerful one, at least for me. And, and.
For those listening, you might play around with what are those little indicators to my system that let me know like, I'm here with myself. So.
Sarah (13:52)
I'm here, yeah, I'm here right now, yeah.
Abby (13:56)
Yeah, so that was kind of a quick run through with that personal example. As I went through that, Sarah, did anything come up for you or? Yeah.
Sarah (14:04)
Yeah. So when you were saying with the eye, the investigate with interesting care, I think that you're right that that can be really nuanced because number one, we're not all going to have time and bandwidth and capacity to be like, huh, what does this want from me? Or what is this beckoning me towards? Or where does this connect? But to stay with the thread of curiosity of like, OK, I'm experiencing this thing.
Abby (14:15)
Mm -hmm.
Sarah (14:32)
What might I be needing? And when might I come back to this when I have more capacity? So you're not rushing past it. You're not saying it needs to go away. You're not saying, I can't tolerate this. You're saying, OK, anxious part, anxious feeling. You're here for a reason. I get it. I'm going to come back around and be really curious with you to see what you might need or see what you might be representing or see what might be activated inside of me so that I can then tend to myself.
Abby (14:33)
Hmm.
Sarah (15:01)
with more compassion, like coming to that end, the nurturing with self -compassion. I think that we can do that and then we can do it again on the back end when we have more information.
Abby (15:12)
Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I love that piece of whether it's a time thing or a situation thing, I just can't be here investigating or diving deep and sitting with. And I'm even thinking, like, what if the emotion is one that I mean, from a trauma perspective, too, where it's just, yeah, simply like, I can't, again, I'm not pushing it away. But it's just like, I can't quite go there right now. Or it's,
Sarah (15:38)
Yes, it is like too dysregulating to go there right now.
Abby (15:42)
Mm hmm. Yeah, too, dysregulating, like intolerable to the point where I won't be able, you know, to be with this any longer. And something that's been helpful for me and maybe helpful for others too, is with that investigation, maybe we can recognize and allow, here's this emotion. Can I just like allow it to do what it's doing? And maybe the investigation is that question, can I?
Can I be with this a little bit longer and investigate right now, or is this something that I need to kind of set aside and focus a bit more on what is tolerable? So even with investigation, is there neutrality in the body? I love the neutrality in the body, like our elbow, our pinky finger, our earlobe. If it's just much too much, can we just?
Sarah (16:30)
Yeah. Yep.
Abby (16:34)
settle into the neutrality that we feel in the body. And if not the body, is there neutrality in the environment around of just like, there's a white wall next to me and my charger is plugged in right below. So that might be the eye in some cases, like sometimes the eye is, wow, how is this anxiety showing up for me? What is it maybe needing from me? And sometimes it is setting it aside, coming back to it later, neutrality.
Sarah (16:37)
Yeah. Yeah.
Abby (17:04)
that I might be able to access in my body or the surrounding environment. And in the end, nurture with self -compassion if possible.
Sarah (17:08)
Yeah, yeah. And then nurturing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, as you were talking about the I, especially I was thinking about a situation that I experienced where the I has been ongoing, right? The I has been investigating over and over and making more sense of over and over again, what this like distress that I experienced meant to me. And so,
It's been a bit since this happened, but there was an incident, I'll say an incident, I don't know, an experience when I dropped my son off at daycare and there was this little group of girls, and I mean they're just a group of four -year -olds, right? Just doing their thing, whatever, there was an interaction, and it triggered something inside of me, and I was just like completely flooded with something, and I was like getting teary, and I was like, my god, I gotta get out of here, like I'm gonna cry because of this group of four -year -olds.
And it didn't make sense time and space. I was like, what is happening? And so I like got out of the daycare and I was in my car and I was recognizing what was going on. I was allowing it to be there with like tears and lots of like, what is happening right now? But I had to come home and I had to work and I had to do all of these things. So I didn't really have a lot of time to investigate. So I skipped to N, right? I skipped to taking care of myself, being compassionate. And it's been an unfolding.
in my own therapy of like what that I represented like how can I continue to be curious about what threads of something were so triggered in that moment from my own experiences growing up and things like that so it's like it can be this ongoing exploration and investigation that you can be compassionate with yourself throughout time and space.
Abby (18:47)
That's such a good example of like, yeah, the ongoing nature of the eye investigate with curiosity and care Because it is so ongoing sometimes we can investigate for a micro moment But then we have to bring it to maybe therapy or some other processing experience to dig deeper and I'm even thinking with the investigate how important for a lot of us it is to move in and out of the investigation
Sarah (18:50)
The ongoing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm -hmm. Yes. Yes.
Abby (19:14)
at our own pace so that we build a tolerance for it because it's not that right away. We can just sit with really challenging stuff on our own and figure out what's going on.
Sarah (19:25)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this idea of like, yeah, like too much too soon, right? Like too much too soon, too much of like being with and experiencing, investigating and all of the things too much can then cause this like collapsing and...
Abby (19:32)
Mm -hmm.
Sarah (19:40)
like falling in on yourself and like, I don't want to do that again. That was super terrible and awful. And now I feel even worse than I did before. So it's like this really slow process, I think for most of us to when something big is happening, to be patient and to go slow. And there isn't a super rush, right? There's always more learning that can happen.
Abby (19:54)
Mmm.
Yeah, and I feel like your example really gives so much permission for this tool, like all tools to be customized to your own experience, your own unique needs in any given moment that are always changing. Yeah, ultimately, I look at this practice or this tool as a mindfulness one. It's an awareness building one.
It's even a little bit of like a containment one when things just are much too much. Can we at least sink into, yeah, rain. Can I maybe just do R, recognize, and maybe later I can go through journaling or in therapy or whatever, do a little bit more of the investigation and the nurturing. Or maybe it's like I'm recognizing and I, you know, I need to go straight to the nurturance. Like maybe we can pick and choose and make it our own.
Sarah (20:27)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm. Yep. Yep.
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah.
Abby (20:53)
Which I really like. I think it's nice to be able to have something easy to fault easy in air quotes, but like an easy acronym, if you will, like to remember, okay, this is rain. And even for me, it's like, yeah, rain, rain is temporary. Maybe sometimes some rains are longer than others, but this will pass. What can I anchor into from this little acronym in this moment? And what can I do maybe later on to take care of myself?
Sarah (20:59)
Yeah. Yeah. Tip, pull back.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I love that. I love that.
Abby (21:24)
Yeah, so yeah, little to a little tidbit. I think to I know that the podcast just dropped today, so I haven't been able to listen to the episode on chronic pain. But I imagine there's a lot of overlap to not just with challenging emotion, but challenging physical sensation as well with this practice that maybe can be explored more.
Sarah (21:33)
Yeah.
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And I think I'm looking at the PDF right now, and I'll link to this in the show notes too, the after rain. So like after the rain has passed, I like that metaphor, that's good. So like after you go through the R -A -I -N, right? It says, after you've completed the steps of rain, notice the quality of your presence and rest in that wakeful, tender space of awareness. So I wonder if we can just take a minute on that of, you know,
Abby (21:58)
Mm -hmm.
Sarah (22:15)
if maybe you sit with this or you go through the process of rain and you're more aware and you're more maybe compassionate with yourself, but you still maybe don't feel super great how then to like sit with yourself in that. Like maybe you are more present, but for a lot of people, I think presence is what we're avoiding. I'll speak for myself. A lot of times presence is what I'm avoiding, right? I don't want to feel that way. So then what? Like how do we sit with the wakeful, tender space of awareness?
Abby (22:33)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
yeah, that's a good question.
Sarah (22:44)
That's kind of a trick. I'm like, that's a trick question. I don't know.
Abby (22:48)
It's that's it's so challenging. I I look at this again. It's sort of a what did I say? Mindfulness tool and awareness building tool, maybe a containment tool. I think it might also be a tool of building tolerance that our own pace for being in a present. Awareness space when I learned at one point that the goal goal intention of mindfulness practices isn't.
Sarah (22:50)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Abby (23:15)
to be mindful and present and aware all the time, because that isn't always the most helpful. Like, I think it opened a lot of doors for me when I started to do mindfulness practices. I really had this sternly held belief that I must be aware and present and at ease all the time. And that's the goal. And just knowing that that does not need to be the case was really helpful.
Sarah (23:21)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Abby (23:43)
But yeah, I guess a building tolerance for sitting in the present moment with whatever is here, knowing that we don't have to be in it forever. I'll probably have more thoughts on this after, but that's what's coming up for me right now.
Sarah (24:00)
Yeah, no, I think that's super helpful because I think reading the PDF someone can be like, how do I, how do I like now stay in this wakeful space when I maybe didn't want to be awake to it to begin with? So yeah, I think your answer is perfect. Like that's an act of mindfulness that it doesn't have to be completely present all the time. But maybe you have like some tether to it and you're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself otherwise.
Abby (24:09)
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah, you can dip the toe in to that present awareness and then you can step out of it too. And maybe the next time that you practice this, if you choose to, it, it, again, it's not, it's not a practice. it feels better. It's not bad. It's, it's like, okay. I can be with this for a little bit longer. I had another thought and it just left, but.
It might come back. Let me think. What was it?
Sarah (24:52)
Give it time. Give it time.
Abby (24:55)
Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting, even with my example earlier of the anxiety and trying to get rid of the anxiety, but maybe practicing experimenting with this RAIN tool, I noticed that my anxiety didn't necessarily go down. I just related to it differently. And I also recognized maybe I want to just take keep an eye on my caffeine consumption because my caffeine was also making my heart pound because my heart was already pounding.
Sarah (25:19)
huh. So you're like up a notch? Yeah.
Abby (25:23)
So it was interesting. I was already up a notch and I do love coffee and I'm not gonna stop drinking coffee because I just love it so much. But it did, again, the anxiety didn't necessarily lower until the event was done, which makes sense and I allowed for that to be the case. And again, it just allowed me to relate to it differently. I was able to really say internally and externally, I'm allowed to feel this way right now.
Sarah (25:29)
Mmm.
Yes.
Abby (25:48)
And I can watch the caffeine a little bit just to ensure that, you know, I feel somewhat, and then, you know, I'm drinking, you know, water, I'm getting good sleep. You know, the things that I know, at least for me, are really helpful in just putting one foot in front of the other when the anxiety is loud. So I guess that's what I'd like to say. Maybe it's, this is not necessarily a tool of making the emotion feel better, quote unquote, just a different relationship to it.
Sarah (26:08)
Yep. Yep.
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Yeah.
because that relates back to what you were saying in the beginning too of like the wanting to fix and the wanting to like only feel like the good stuff or feel better, right? Like sometimes, sometimes it just doesn't work like that.
Abby (26:31)
Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So if those listening are interested in more tools, like we can continue to, I don't know, pop these podcasts in every once in a while. It is nice to have just a little tool in the tool belt readily accessible when if and when needed.
Sarah (26:49)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you. I think this was great. Yeah.
Abby (26:57)
Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah, if anyone has any thoughts or questions, reach out.
Sarah (27:03)
Yeah, and I'll definitely, like I said, link to it in the show notes. Everyone can check out this PDF that we were referring to, to use whenever you feel like you need to. So that will be there.
Abby (27:15)
Well, thank you, Sarah.
Sarah (27:16)
Alright, thank you Abby and alright everybody will be back next week for another episode until that take good care.
Reclaim Therapy is a trauma focused therapy practice that provides trauma therapy, therapy for eating disorders, EMDR Therapy and Complex PTSD treatment.
Our team is passionate about helping people reclaim their lives from diet culture, body shame and the impact of trauma.
We would love to support you as you Reclaim YOU and the life that you undeniably deserve.