GETTING TO KNOW YOUR INNER BODY CRITIC
For most of my life, I talked a lot of shit about my body image.
Everything was fair game- from the texture of my hair to the size of my ankles… and everything in between.
Time was spent analyzing how to fix, how to shrink, and how to figure out how to make it look the way I (society) thought it should.
if you’re here, I’m sure you can relate.
What I know for sure is that I would’ve never spoken to someone I cared about like that.
Not my sister.
Or my nieces.
Not my best friends.
Or even a stranger on the street.
And, if I overheard them speaking to themselves with such criticism and such seething negativity, I would absolutely challenge them.
In fact, I would challenge them with what I knew to be true. With what I saw in them and what mattered about them most to me.
but for me and my body image?
Nope. The criticism was fact.
I hear similar stories all the time from folks we support. The messages from their inner critic are so strong, so seemingly true, and are so impactful in the way they try to take care of themselves.
when working with clients to heal from body shame and body image issues, we often encourage them to get to know the critical voice that’s taking up so much of their brain space.
We get curious about where the critical voice came from, how it sounds, what kinds of messages it’s sending, the feelings behind the message, and why the body critic is functioning the way it does.
We work toward understanding how the body critic is trying to help us, protect us and to keep us safe in the only way it knows how.
We’re on the receiving end of messages about our bodies, and all bodies, all the time.
We get these messages from the media, our parents, our siblings, our extended families, advertisements, celebrities, coaches, teammates, our schools, doctors, books, movies, the names of foods, and television shows (I could go on and on about where we receive these messages! Take a moment today to notice where and how you’re receiving information about bodies. If a body is good or bad if it should be changed etc… it’s literally everywhere!).
We don’t always pay attention to what we’re consuming throughout our day-to-day, or even what our family of origin has taught us about body image.
But the messaging about bodies is so important to acknowledge.
we hear it. and, we hear it again. we internalize it. and, if left unchallenged, that message easily shapes shifts into our own inner body critic.
What does your body critic sound like?
Seems like a funny question, but get quiet and go inward for a second.
That voice is SO believable. SO harsh. SO loud. What, or who does it sound like?
Your current self?
Oprah or Marie Osmond?
Your younger self?
That mean the girl in the 4th grade that bullied you relentlessly?
Your parent?
Or your high school coach?
when do you remember first hearing it?
Does it sound the same now as it did then?
how does it communicate with you?
Yelling, directly, bargaining, persuading, etc.
how do you know when your inner body critic is speaking?
What distinguishes it from other parts of you?
what exactly is your body critic telling you?
What does it say over and over again?
If you had to characterize your inner body critic’s personality, how would you describe it?
how do you visualize it looking?
Like a person?
A shape?
Is it a color?
A dark cloud?
with all of this information, try to give some representation to this part of you.
Do some visualizing, drawing, or creating of some sort.
By doing this, you’re creating some space from your inner body critic. Which could give yourself some distance and some space to interact with it, and yourself, differently.
Lastly…
what is at stake if you don’t follow the directions from your inner body critic about your body image?
If you don’t “do something” about your body, what does your inner body critic think will happen? That you’ll be a failure? Unlovable? Not good enough? Not worthy of belonging?
It’s important to know that your inner body critic is a part of you that is communicating a message. The message likely feels quite harsh about your body image.
but, can you start to identify the pain, or the feelings, behind that message?
This feels like enough for one blog about body image! We’ll pick up on what to do with all of this next week.
For now, see if you have some time and space to get curious and get to know your inner body critic in a way that feels right for you.
Until next time
🧡,
Looking for counseling to help with body image issues in Pennsylvania?
We’re a group of body image, eating disorder and trauma specialists passionate about helping people reconnect with the goodness and the worthiness of their bodies in the here and now. We provide therapy in Horsham, PA and online therapy in Pennsylvania for body image, disordered eating and trauma. If you’re ready for support, let’s work together. Contact us for a free 15-minute consultation.