Reclaim You- How to Find a Therapist: Tips For Starting Therapy
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In this episode, Sarah and Emily celebrate the one-year anniversary of the Reclaim You podcast and share tips for starting therapy.
They discuss how to find a therapist, including using online search tools and social media, and the importance of finding a therapist who specializes in the specific issues you want to work on.
They also talk about the initial consultation process, including questions to ask and how to assess if the therapist is a good fit. They emphasize the importance of open communication with your therapist and being willing to make changes if the fit isn't right.
Overall, they encourage listeners to take the step of starting therapy and offer support and guidance along the way.
Takeaways
Finding the right therapist is important, so be specific about the issues you want to work on and use online search tools and social media to find therapists who specialize in those areas.
During the initial consultation, ask questions about the therapist's background, training, and approach, and discuss any specific needs or preferences you have.
Be open and honest with your therapist about your goals and what you want them to know about you, and don't be afraid to ask questions or make requests.
If after a few sessions it doesn't feel like the right fit, communicate with your therapist and consider finding someone else who is a better match for your needs.
Starting therapy is a big step, and it's important to be proud of yourself for taking that step and seeking support for your mental health.
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00:01] Sarah: Hi there.
[00:01] Sarah: Welcome to reclaim you, a podcast published by the Reclaim therapy team. Join us as we share stories, tools, and insights on how to reclaim you in the wake of trauma, disordered eating, and body shame. Grab your coffee, tea, or your favorite snack and get cozy because we're about to dive in.
[00:19] Sarah: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to reclaim you. This is an exciting day. Today is the last episode of the first year of our podcast.
[00:29] Emily: Wow. So exciting.
[00:32] Sarah: I know. So this is episode 51. So that would mean after this, it's a full year of the Reclaim you podcast.
[00:40] Emily: Very exciting.
[00:40] Sarah: It is exciting.
[00:42] Emily: Yeah. I know.
[00:45] Sarah: It was a fast year. Emily and I were just talking about if we just start a season two after this episode or how this works, we're not sure.
[00:54] Emily: Yeah, I know, I know.
[00:56] Sarah: We made it a full year. I'm so excited. Yeah. So thanks, everyone, for. For tuning in. I know that we have like thousands and thousands of downloads, which is exciting. And, yeah, next year we'll keep chipping away, doing the thing.
[01:07] Emily: Cool.
[01:07] Sarah: So what's up? How are you doing?
[01:08] Emily: Doing good, doing good. Loving this, uh, spring, I guess, like summer weather. I feel like we, like, skipped spring, but I'm good for it. Wow. We did.
[01:19] Sarah: It was hot out there yesterday. It was almost 90.
[01:21] Emily: It was. I don't mind it this early, though. Like, as the summer goes on, I get tired of it. But this early outside, wear a jacket anymore for walks and the sun's out and totally.
[01:34] Sarah: I clearly, if anyone's watching YouTube, forgot to put sunscreen on my shoulders the other day on Sunday.
[01:40] Emily: Yeah, the.
[01:41] Sarah: The kids got all the sunscreen. I failed to help my shoulders and they are quite burned. So lesson learned.
[01:47] Emily: I get.
[01:48] Sarah: I get one lesson a year and it always sticks.
[01:50] Emily: So, yeah, I didn't get mine yet, but it always happens.
[01:54] Sarah: It always happens. Take care of your skin, your sunscreen.
[01:57] Emily: Yes. Yes.
[01:59] Sarah: So today, Emily and I thought it would be kind of fun to share some tips about starting therapy that might be supportive as. Yeah, if you're looking for a therapist, if you're starting with a new therapist, just some things to keep in mind to help guide you and hopefully help you find the right fit. Because the right fit is the most important part.
[02:19] Emily: Yes. Always get, you know, some nervousness from new clients, especially clients who have never seen a therapist before. Just not really knowing, like, what is this supposed to look like? What am I supposed to ask you? What are sessions going to look like? And it's totally overwhelming. So hopefully we can give some helpful tips if you're in that boat and want to start working with a therapist? Totally.
[02:44] Sarah: So let's start with, like, finding a therapist. How to find a therapist. I mean, it feels like in theory, right? How do you find a therapist? Right. Should be easy, but also, like, not necessarily so easy, depending on what you're looking for.
[02:58] Emily: A lot of information out there. So obviously, I think most people find a therapist through Google or some on the Internet. Obviously there's, like, word of mouth and stuff like that, too, which I think can be helpful if you, like, hear from a friend or family member that you trust of, like, hey, this person was recommended, or like, I've worked with this person, blah, blah, blah. That can sometimes take some anxiety away. But I think most people find it therapists by searching. So I think what's, what's helpful, so that you're not just searching, like, therapists near me. Get specific. So what do you want to work on? You know, is there a specialty? Do you want a trauma therapist? Do you want an eating disorder therapist? Do you want a therapist that is EMDR trained or, like, a somatic therapist? Like, get a specific as possible. So that way it's not just like thousands of therapists that you then need to weed through to be like, okay, like, do they specialize in what I want to work on or not? So Google can be really helpful for that. Psychology today, the therapist finder is also really helpful. You can put in what you want to work on. Modalities, education. Yeah, like, location aid, things like that. Like, if you have, like, specific preferences and they kind of help to narrow it down for you, I think that that's a helpful place to start. Get specific, and then read bios. You know, all therapists should have a comprehensive bio that tell you about them, what they specialize in, different modalities that they're trained in. So. So once you kind of get that, listen, start reading and see what stands out to you.
[04:45] Sarah: And I think from the work with me pages or the bios, I think this is where social media can be helpful because it can give you another peek into people's just like, I don't know, vibe. Right. So if you're on their social media and you're watching their stories and you're like, oh, this person is kind of annoying. Like, they might not be the therapist for you, or if they say things that don't align with your value system, like, probably not the right fit for you. So it's like, use social media. A lot of people do find therapists on social media because it has become kind of like, a search engine, I guess. But I think that can be hard, too, because some people like to see a peek into their therapist's life. Other people find it, like, really weird and kind of invasive and, like, awkward. So it's like, those are other little things, I think, to consider as you're googling and then finding people online in other spaces. Do that internal resonance check.
[05:37] Emily: Yeah. Yeah. Like, think about things that you value in your own relationships because, you know, it's a professional relationship, but you have a relationship with your therapist and, and you want to make sure that you have those qualities and relationships that feel really solid in your life, in your relationship with your therapist. So exactly like what you were saying, like, do you want someone that's more open, more vulnerable? Do you value humor? Do you want someone with lived experience? What are those qualities that you want in that relationship?
[06:16] Sarah: And I think this is where the initial consultation can be helpful in some ways. Most therapy practices offer a free consultation to get your questions answered, to learn more about the practice or the therapist. And that kind of like, is this, does this person or do these people do the work that I'm looking to do? And you can kind of take it from there. So maybe let's talk about those consultation calls. Yeah.
[06:41] Emily: Yeah. So with the consultation, obviously, whoever you're having the consultation with will probably have some questions for you, like how you, you know, maybe how you found them, things that you're looking to work on, like what your schedule looks like. They'll go over, finances, things like that. But on your end, I think that it's always helpful to ask questions about your therapist. So ask about their background, ask about their training, their education. What do they specialize in? Where did they get that training? Are they going to be able to help you with the things that you want to work on? Is probably the number one question to focus in a consultation. I think it's awful helpful to then ask questions about more of, like, the not so fun things to talk about. So, like the scheduling, prices, things like that. It's always a good idea to make sure that that's a good fit before you commit to anything. Those, I think, are the big two that are coming to mind that are most helpful to ask in a consultation.
[07:52] Sarah: Yeah, definitely. Definitely. I think it's important, too, that if you're looking for a particular type of work. So, like our practice, we specialize in treating eating disorders and trauma. So we make that very abundantly clear on our website and where we show up on the Internet. So that when people call, they know, that's what we do. And that doesn't mean that we're going to work with every single person that calls because we might not be the best fit for a particular client and their needs. Right. So I mean, for example, if someone calls and they're looking for eating disorder treatment for their eight year old, we are not going to see that person. I'm going to provide them with other referrals for people who specialize in seeing kids because it's important to us in our value system that we're working with people who we know we can serve really well. So asking questions like that, like, you know, in your practice, do you see a lot of kids who are eight? And I'm, that's maybe not the greatest example, but, you know, this like particular issue or age or whatever, you know, getting some, some feedback from the therapist or the practice owner or the person doing consultations just to know that you have landed in the best place for you.
[09:04] Emily: Yeah, absolutely. Because you're totally right. Not all therapists specialize or feel comfortable working with certain populations. And that's totally normal. That's totally okay. And if they don't specialize or feel like totally competent in that area, like being able to then be like, okay, like, can you maybe give me some referrals or like some direction on how I can find someone who would be a better fit for me?
[09:33] Sarah: Yeah. And people should be more than happy to do that too. I know that, that I do it all the time and I think too, with consults in our practice, I do the majority of the consults and it works out pretty well just because I feel like I know the clinicians in the practice and the work that they do and who would be a good fit with who. And I think, generally speaking, knock on wood, I have a solid gut instinct on that. But if someone really wants to speak with a clinician before working with them, I think that that's totally fine as well because this is an investment in you. And like I said, the relationship is the most important part and making sure that it's a good fit feels just like at the utmost importance.
[10:13] Emily: Absolutely.
[10:14] Sarah: And then there's the insurance thing, right? This is a toughie, the insurance thing of, you know, if you're looking to use your insurance, which, you know, of course we understand when people need to use their insurance or want to use their insurance versus paying privately and using your out of network benefits. So this is also a really important question to ask with the nitty gritty maybe not so fun stuff if you're looking for a specialized practice, the chances are they're going to be out of network. And so asking questions about how they, how people handle billing, what their fees are, you know, if they have sliding scale spots, how long people can stay in sliding scale spots, if that's reassessed or, you know, if there's a scholarship fund. All of these different types of questions to make sure that you're entering into a relationship that's going to be able to stick and it's not going to stress you out financially even more than maybe you are already.
[11:09] Emily: And understanding, too, if you have out of network benefits, that can always be helpful. And I think, you know, people sometimes have them and they don't even know that they have them. That is something that, you know, either we can check or you can call your insurance beforehand and see if you could get any reimbursement for sessions, that can always be a super helpful thing to look into because it can open up who you can see and take some of that financial.
[11:38] Sarah: Yeah. And a lot of times I have people like, send me a picture of their insurance card and I'll log into a system and see what their out of network coverage is so that they know off the bat that maybe they have $1,000 deductible. So you have to pay $1,000 out of pocket, but then you get reimbursed 80% of session costs. So at the end, after $1,000, it's almost like a copay that you're paying each week. So it can super, super help with the financial side of things for sure. Okay, so then, so you find the therapist, you do the consultation, you can afford it. And what comes next, as you're getting ready to go to that first appointment, what are some tips?
[12:19] Emily: So for the first appointment, I think that it's always helpful to think through. Okay, what do I want my therapist to know about me right off the bat? What feels important for them to understand about me as a person or things that I've been through. So kind of understanding what you really want them to know in that first session. And it doesn't have to be more than you're comfortable with. Like, definitely make sure that you're not pushing yourself too much in that area. Like that will come as you build the relationship. But I always do think that that's a helpful thing to think about. Think about some goals, like what are the goals that you want to work towards or do you need help with goals? Either way, your therapist wants you to make the most out of your time wants to make sure that you work towards those goals. So no right or wrong if you have goals, if you need help making some goals, definitely let your therapist know.
[13:22] Sarah: That in the first session because that can be overwhelming.
[13:25] Emily: Right.
[13:25] Sarah: Like thinking of concrete goals when you just feel like ****. So if you just feel like **** and you're like, I don't know how to set goals. Like, that's a great first thing to start to work on is, you know, how do you set goals while feeling like **** and then hopefully not feeling like **** for much longer?
[13:42] Emily: Yeah, absolutely. And knowing, you know, we don't have to go crazy with goals. Like, maybe the goal is to get to know each other for a while, or we just want to set one goal. It's not like we have to set, like, ten goals and get overwhelmed or anything like that. It can definitely start a small goal, a manageable goal, and it's absolutely collaborative, too. I also think it can be really helpful for folks that have been in therapy before, but it's something that I always like to know. What have you liked about past therapists? What has worked for you, what has been helpful and what have you not liked? Were there qualities about the therapist that, like, rubbed you the wrong way? Were there things that you did that you were like, okay, this is stupid, or, like, didn't help at all? I think that that's super helpful to go over in the first session because if there's things that you already know are helpful, like, let's lean into that. And if there's things that you know aren't helpful or that you don't like, I want to make sure that I don't do those things.
[14:45] Sarah: And then if I do how you like to repair when I misstep or **** you off or whatever it is, I'm always thinking of that, too.
[14:55] Emily: I think it can be helpful, too, in the first session to talk about what you, you might need from your therapist, too. And maybe that's something if you in therapy before you might have an understanding of, like, do you like to have a more structured session? Do you like to be able to just come in and kind of go with the flow? And that can also go in with, like, the fit of your therapist, too. Some therapists are definitely more structured. Some are more go with the flow. But I do think that that can be a helpful thing to establish in.
[15:29] Sarah: The first session and then to reassess over time, because maybe you come in and you feel really like **** and you want a lot of maybe structure and tools and, like, homework even. And so, like, you engage in that and then maybe feel a little bit better and you're feeling like you don't need as much of that containment. So things start to shift. So I think it does. It comes back to that relationship early on, making sure you're a good fit. You feel like you can share openly and that, like, you can collaborate together to make the relationship and make the work together as, you know, productive as.
[16:04] Emily: Possible for you because it's all about you. And my last tip for first session, I love when clients ask me questions. So maybe spend some time thinking about questions that you want to ask your therapist in the first session.
[16:17] Sarah: What are your favorite questions?
[16:19] Emily: Ooh. I mean, I feel like, you know, I get a lot of the, like, what's your background? Things like that, which, like, can also be covered in the consultation. I like the more personal questions. Like, I like, ask me, like, why did you get into this? Or like, what do you like to do when you're not being a therapist? Like, I'm of the belief, you know, you're sharing a lot of personal details. Like, you. You should be able to know me as a person, too, in order to feel comfortable.
[16:52] Sarah: Absolutely. Yeah. More of like a human to human relationship versus something else.
[16:58] Emily: Right? Yeah.
[16:59] Sarah: Any other tips that you have?
[17:00] Emily: It's also okay if a couple sessions in, it's not feeling like the vibe that is okay. It is okay to talk to your therapist about that. It's okay to email your therapist about that if talking feels too overwhelming. I think that some people get nervous of getting in trouble or like getting pushback or something like that. A good therapist is not going to do that to you. They want you to feel comfortable. So if you are starting therapy for the first time or restarting therapy and you start with a therapist and it just doesn't feel like the fit after a couple sessions, let them know and ask him for help to find somebody that might be a better fit.
[17:41] Sarah: Yeah. Because folks should be able to refer to other practices or maybe someone in the practice that you're in. Because at the end of the day, like we said, the most important thing to us is that you feel comfortable and safe and we'll do what we can to do that. But sometimes it's just not a vibe, you know? Yeah. Which is fine.
[18:00] Emily: Or maybe your therapist can do more of something, less of something. It's also okay if you want to give it a little bit more of a shot, but just ask them for more of what you need and then if that still doesn't work, then be like, okay, I want to try somebody else.
[18:13] Sarah: Well, I feel like this will be helpful for folks, you know, who are looking for starting this work or, you know, coming back to it. Yeah. Anything to add before we log off?
[18:23] Emily: I feel like that that covers it for things that are important to keep in mind or to ask when you want to start therapy. And it's a big step, and I'm proud of everyone listening to this. Who wants to start therapy? You're taking a big step.
[18:40] Sarah: And Emily has one opening right now, and it starts in a couple of weeks. I'm sure it will be gone by the time this, this podcast airs, actually. But if you're interested and it's still open, reach out and you can get started with Emily. Maybe if it's not gone by then, we'll see.
[18:57] Emily: Or I'll have something else. You never know.
[18:59] Sarah: It never hurts. All right, everybody, we hope this is helpful and we will be back next week for, I guess, the beginning of season two or the continuation of season one. I guess we'll have to. I'll take a poll. Stay tuned to be determined. Not sure how all this works. All right, we'll be back regardless. All right, everybody, take good care.
[19:20] Sarah: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Reclaim. You be sure to, like, comment and subscribe and check us out on YouTube. Eclaim u if you're looking to start therapy for trauma, disordered eating, or body image concerns, head over to our website at www.reclaimtherapy.org to learn more about us and our work. We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, take good care of yourself.
Reclaim Therapy is a trauma focused therapy practice that provides therapy for eating disorders, trauma therapy and EMDR Therapy.
Our team is passionate about helping people reclaim their lives from diet culture, body shame and the impact of trauma.
We would love to support you as you Reclaim YOU and the life that you undeniably deserve.