Shame & Guilt’s Role in Eating Disorder & Trauma Recovery
Shame and guilt are two complex emotions that often play a significant role in eating disorder treatment in Pennsylvania, especially for people who have experienced trauma.
Shame is a deep-seated feeling of unworthiness and self-disgust. It's the belief that something about who you are at your core is fundamentally flawed. In the context of eating disorders and trauma, shame can be triggered by societal expectations, internalized body image issues, or past traumatic experiences. It can lead to self-criticism, self-hatred, and a seemingly constant sense of not measuring up or not being good enough.
People who have experienced Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) often experience shame stemming from a complex web of past experiences. Ongoing exposure to emotionally overwhelming situations, or repeated traumas, can lead to an intense sense of self-blame and inadequacy.
We’ll overly simplify a nuanced process by saying that this is because the brain of a child can’t possibly make sense of why someone they are desperate for love, attachment and affection from can harm them. Because of this, children who experience CPTSD often shift to blaming to themselves.
For example, you might experience feelings of helplessness, believing that you should have, or could have, somehow prevented or controlled the situations you were faced with. Experiencing ongoing traumatic experiences in childhood can create a sense of being damaged or tainted, further fueling the experience shame.
If you have experienced childhood trauma or complex PTSD, you might experience a deep-seated belief that you are inherently flawed or unworthy of love and care, contributing to the persistent and debilitating nature of shame.
Guilt, on the other hand, stems from the belief that you have done something wrong or harmed others. It's a moral compass, reminding you when your might have acted in ways that conflict with your values. However, in the context of eating disorders and trauma, guilt can become distorted. It might manifest as feeling guilty for taking care of yourself or for using eating disorder behaviors as a coping mechanism, even if those behaviors were the result of trauma survival strategies.
Understanding these emotions is important in navigating the challenges of eating disorder recovery and trauma recovery.
Let’s talk a little about "shame scripts"
Shame scripts are the internalized, self-deprecating stories that people struggling with eating disorders and trauma often carry with them. These scripts are formed through a combination of societal messages and past experiences. Often, these scripts perpetuate internalized shame and result in 4 common reactions, or strategies, in an attempt to keep you safe:
Attack yourself
When part of you accepts the beliefs of shame and you turn your anger and disgust inward.
Attack others
When part or parts of you direct anger away from yourself and toward another person or event in order to preserve your self image by externalized the felt shame and projecting to toward someone or something else.
Avoid your inner experience
When a part of you does its best to minimize the conscious felt experience of shame.
Withdraw (isolate) from others
When a part of you accepts the messages of shame and feels so bad that you isolate from other, often in effort to protect from from more shaming experiences.
The inner narratives, or stories, that lead to the strategies listed above, play a significant role in how you engage in the world.
Shame scripts often involve recurring thoughts and beliefs, such as "I'm not good enough," "I'm unlovable," or "I'm a burden to others." These deeply ingrained beliefs can understandably dictate your behaviors, decisions, and how you interact with the world.
In the context of eating disorder recovery, shame scripts can be particularly powerful, as they fuel cycles of shame and guilt.
A person struggling with an eating disorder’s shame scripts might tell them that they deserve suffering and or punishment and that their worth is tied to their ability to control their eating or appearance. This creates a destructive cycle where the eating disorder behaviors serve as both a coping mechanism and a reinforcement of the shame script.
Recognizing the existence of shame scripts is a step towards developing new strategies to feel regulated and safe
Understanding Guilt in Eating Disorder Therapy in Pennsylvania
Guilt, as we mentioned earlier, is the feeling of having done something wrong or having harmed others. In the context of eating disorders, people struggling often experience guilt due to their behaviors and actions related to food, body image, or control over their eating habits.
For many people, eating disorder behaviors were initially used as coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional pain and distress. You might have turned to restrictive eating, bingeing, purging, or excessive exercise as ways to numb or distract yourself from overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, or fear in the aftermath of trauma.
Over time, this association between the eating disorder behaviors and relief from emotional distress can strengthen a sense of guilt. You might experience guilt after leaning on eating disorder behaviors, even when you cognitively know that they are harmful to your health. The intensity of these emotions can make recovery even more challenging, as guilt often serves as a barrier to understanding and moving through urges to engage in behaviors.
If parts of your identity are rooted in shame, guilt can quickly shape shift into strong and debilitating feelings of being flawed, not good enough and unworthy.
Guilt Can Serve as a Coping Mechanism for Trauma Survivors
Trauma survivors often feel guilty for various reasons, such as not being able to prevent the trauma, for not disclosing it earlier, or for any perceived role you played in the traumatic event. This guilt often becomes a way to attempt to regain a sense of control over the experiences and emotions experienced. Guilt can serve as a buffer against the overwhelming emotions tied to trauma. It may create a temporary sense of safety by giving you a false sense of responsibility.
Learning to Cope with Shame and Guilt
Coping with shame and guilt is an important part of the recovery process for those healing from eating disorders and trauma. Here are some practical strategies that can help you understand and navigate these emotions:
Get to know the feelings related to shame and guilt: You can’t start to cope with something that isn’t in your awareness. Feel into shame and guilt when they’re present. Can you identify how they show up in your body? What thoughts are related to them? What behaviors those thoughts typically lead to? Consider, how could this have helped you survive as a kid?
Shame Resiliency: Developed by Dr. Brené Brown, shame resiliency theory provides a framework for understanding and transforming shame. It involves recognizing shame, normalizing it as a universal human experience, practicing critical awareness, and reaching out to safe others for support. Brene Brown speaks in depth about shame resiliency in her work.
Quick tip: Imagine the feeling of shame as catching a hot potato in your hands. Every time you have a shame based thought, imagine dropping that hot potato. This seems silly, but its an embodied practice of separating from thoughts, and allowing the wave of shame to move through you, instead of staying stuck.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your emotions and thought patterns without judgment. Incorporating mindfulness or mindful moments can help you stay present, understand where your negative self-talk is coming from, and develop a greater sense of self-compassion.
The hot potato tip? That’s an example of mindfulness.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and healing. Maintaining a recovery journal where you can express your emotions, track how you engage with feelings of guilt and shame, and identify patterns related to shame and guilt can be supportive of getting to know your inner landscape a bit more deeply.
Self-Compassion Practices: Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that one would offer your best friend. Practicing self-compassion by responding to yourself with kindness and understanding, particularly in moments of shame or guilt, can bring a deep sense of relief, giving you the space to
Healing from shame and guilt takes time and effort, and it's okay to seek support, like trauma therapy, or complex PTSD therapy to support you through the process.
If you’re in recovery from trauma or an eating disorder, working a trauma-informed therapist can be very important. Trauma-informed therapists understand the intricacies of trauma and its impact on mental and emotional well-being.
When looking for a therapist, we invite you to consider these factors:
Specialization: Look for an eating disorder therapist in Pennsylvania who specializes in the intersections of trauma and eating disorders. Here at Reclaim we take pride in our specialized training in the treatment of both trauma and eating disorders.
Empathy and Connection: Your therapist’s priority should be creating a strong feeling of trust and connection. This can take time. And, we believe this is the most important part of creating a safe space for exploring and healing from shame and guilt.
Trauma focused, bottom up therapies:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): EMDR therapy near me is particularly effective for processing traumatic memories and reducing their emotional charge.
Somatic Work: This approach focuses on the connection between the body and mind, helping you release stored trauma and emotions.
Parts Work (Internal Family Systems Therapy): Parts work involves understanding different aspects, or parts, of yourself, which can be powerful in addressing complex emotions like shame and guilt.
We know how hard it is to acknowledge and begin to talk about the shame that you experience. And, we want you to know that in eating disorder therapy near me and trauma treatment in Pennsylvania, we’ll go at your pace, and you’ll be supported, heard and validated each step of the way.
The therapists here at Reclaim Therapy specialize in providing eating disorder treatment in Pennsylvania and trauma therapy for people who have experienced complex PTSD.
We believe that you deserve freedom from shame spirals and overwhelming feelings of guilt.
🧡,
Here at Reclaim Therapy we provide specialize Eating Disorder Therapy in Pennsylvania, EMDR Therapy and Therapy for Childhood Trauma Near me
If you’re struggling with intense periods or episodes of guilt and shame, trauma therapy can help. As trauma-informed therapists, our team is equipped to support you in understanding how and why parts of you function they way that they do. We believe that all parts of you are deserving of understanding, compassion and healing.