Reclaiming Resolutions According to A Trauma Therapist
As 2024 approaches, many look forward to ringing in the new year with a sense of joy and excitement.
But for many of us, New Year’s tidings come with a hefty dose of shame.
We brace ourselves for the deluge of ads reminding us in no subtle way that the time has arrived to “undo” all the holiday damage with the latest diet and exercise trends.
Before and after photos pop up on our screens, reminding us that no one wants to be a before. We think to ourselves: “This is the year. THIS year I will make the change. THIS year I will stick with it. THIS year I won’t be a failure again.”
What does that say about you now?
The endless invitation to change ourselves includes a constant reminder that however we enter this new year, we aren’t enough. We must be “healthier” according to diet culture rules: thinner, fitter, and eating “right”.
One of the myriad problems with this mindset: In the search for “health”, we find ourselves traveling roads that lead us only to further shame and suffering.
How many of us have cleared the cupboards of carbs or whatever food is currently deemed problematic, spending beyond our means to stock the shelves with “healthy”, “clean” foods, only to find ourselves craving (and eventually bingeing) the one thing we’ve convinced ourselves we cannot eat?
Who among us has signed up for that gym membership that we use for a month or two despite continuing to pay the monthly fee, thinking the money spent will somehow motivate us to “get back on track”?
Or perhaps we spend large sums to purchase the latest exercise equipment, thinking that having it in our space will be a surefire way to keep motivated, only to find that same machine stacked with boxes or hung with coats or pushed into the spare bedroom at some point down the road?
And what do we tell ourselves each time our plan is foiled?
IT’S MY FAULT.
Yet, some of us do somehow “succeed” with these new rules that restrict our lives to the unending pursuit of thinness and fitness, eating less and less, exercising more and more, convincing ourselves that achieving the body we desire will solve all our problems and bring us the happiness that has eluded us while living in a larger and/or less fit body.
Whether we relate more to the former or the latter, both experiences lead to the same litany of shame echoing in our heads, fear of failure the great motivator, so we think. Until we realize nothing is ever enough, success is fleeting at best, and rather than happiness, we are more anxious, depressed, exhausted, helpless, hopeless…and so on and so on…than we were last year.
I’ll let you in on a secret: YOU are not a failure. YOU are not at fault.
In fact, these beliefs are the very things that keep us from finding the joy we so desperately seek.
This year, I invite you to ditch the diet culture BS and RECLAIM New Year’s resolutions aimed at RECLAIMING your relationship with YOURSELF – mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Here are some suggestions to help you in this process:
RECLAIM FOOD
Challenge yourself to move away from moralizing foods as “good” or “bad”. Practice mindfulness when eating, taking the time to experience the taste and texture of food. Give yourself the freedom to choose foods that you enjoy eating. Seek out an intuitive eating, HAES-aligned dietitian to help you in this process.
RECLAIM BODY
Consider your body as a source of great wisdom. Invite yourself to tune in to your body and listen. What does it have to say about your present experience? Is your body aligned with or at odds with what you are thinking and feeling? How does your body know when it’s hungry or full; when it needs physical or mental activity or rest? Reach out to an intuitive eating dietitian to help you learn how to experience and respond to hunger cues. Seek help from a therapist who incorporates somatic experience in their work.
RECLAIM YOU
See yourself beyond the strictures of diet culture. What gifts do you bring to the world? How would you like to share them this year? What are your hopes for yourself? What support do you need? Reach out for that support – from trusted family, friends, colleagues, and providers who see you as a whole person worthy of all that you desire.
By reclaiming resolutions, we can redefine our sense of worth and find deep, abiding joy not for a moment, or a month, or a calendar year, but for a lifetime.
Hi, I’m Laura Gordon!
As an EMDR therapist who provides trauma therapy, EMDR therapy and eating disorder therapy, I believe that it is your birthright to reclaim your relationship with your mind, body and food.
Wishing you very JOY-FILLED New Year!
🧡,
Reclaim Therapy provides eating disorder therapy in Pennsylvania, EMDR Therapy, EMDR for eating disorders and PTSD treatment in Horsham, PA.
If you have experienced trauma, and/or are struggling with an eating disorder or body image concerns, we want you to know that you deserve support and healing. We would be honored to support you on your recovery journey.