How to Cope With Urges to Restrict
Over the years we’ve talked a lot about the harm in restricting food, the role it plays in binge eating, the role it plays in dieting cycles, and how even the intention to restrict can be the beginning of a very slippery slope back into an all consuming eating disorder.
We also know how hard it can be to cope with urges to turn to restriction.
today, we’re going to share a bit more about one of our favorite tools to cope with urges.
That tool is urge surfing.
Urge surfing is a coping strategy that can be used to avoid engaging in a specific behavior that you want to stop or reduce. Here at Reclaim, we like to teach urge surfing when folks can acknowledge that they are feeling compelled to engage in a particular behavior.
As humans, whatever behavior we repeat over and over tends to get stronger. Our brains develop neural pathways to engage in familiar behaviors. Along the same lines, whatever behavior you don’t repeat tends to get weaker.
But, reducing specific behaviors often requires tools to ride out discomfort from not following an established (and maybe highly used) neural pathway.
Some helpful information about urges
Urges very rarely last for more than 30 minutes. When they do, we are likely feeding them in some way- from giving them attention, to making a plan to engage in them, or even ruminating on them.
we know how hard it is to experience an urge.
And, when they grow and we don’t have the tools or believe we can tolerate the thoughts or distress associated with the urge, it can feel like the only way to get through it is to give in. To act on the behavior.
It’s hard to believe, especially if you’re consistently acting on urges, but if we allow them to, they can and will actually pass on their own.
We may not be able to get rid of them all together, but we can learn and practice new ways to accept the urge as it is and ride it out without giving into the behavior.
Here are some exercises to use as you learn this new skill
curiosity is key. especially in the beginning.
Let’s start with a foundational mindfulness practice:
Notice your breath. Don’t try to change it. Simply notice. Allow it to be as it is.
Notice thoughts that arise.
Without judging your thoughts bring your attention back to your breath.
Repeat.
Next, we can use that foundation to begin to surf an urge.
in order to surf an urge, you have to get to know it.
Here is some prompts to help you do that:
Set a timer for 1 minute. Over time increase the timer and bring curiosity to what shifts take place with the urge you are experiencing.
Where in your body can you feel a sensation that could be connected to the urge?
Does the sensation feel tight or loose?
Does it have a temperature?
Where is it located? Where does it start and where does it end?
Is it hard or soft?
When you pay attention to the sensation, what happens to it?
When you inhale how does it respond?
After you exhale how does it respond?
Repeat this process with each part of your body that is connected to the urge.
If you can, relax into the urge, bringing acceptance and curiosity to its presence instead of fear that it will never go away.
Repeat.
Give yourself permission to let it pass.
This gets easier with time, we promise!
As we shared earlier, urges are temporary.
Whenever you feel an impulse to engage in restriction bring your attention to your breath and your body and try to give yourself permission to stay present. Know that bringing mindfulness to your urges increases your chance to have a choice in which behaviors you are engaging in. Which creates new neural pathways.
Here are a couple of metaphors that might help you understand urge surfing a bit more:
Riptide: If you’re in the Philly area you know that the Jersey Shore can have quite the riptide. Every summer lifeguards remind us that if you’re caught in a riptide and you try to swim straight back to shore you will likely become exhausted by it because it won’t be effective. Instead, they remind us to swim parallel to shore so that we will eventually float out of the riptide and will be able to make our way back to the shore.
Waterfall: Trying to fight off urges is like trying to stop a waterfall. If you tried to stop it or block it, you would definitely get overwhelmed and swept away by it. With the exercises we provided above, instead, you can step behind the waterfall (urge) and observe it as it flows by.
Recovery from disordered eating is possible, and you deserve it!
Work With An Eating Disorder Therapist in Pennsylvania
As you navigate your recovery from disordered eating and diet culture, we hope this tool is supportive. If you’re ready to learn more coping skills and reclaim your life from food rules and body hate, reach out to Reclaim Therapy. Our team of caring therapists can help get you started.
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Looking for a different type of support?
Reclaim Therapy is a passionate group of therapists. Our team specializes in the treatment of trauma, eating disorders, and body image concerns. We offer online therapy in Pennsylvania and in-person therapy in Horsham, PA. We believe that everybody deserves support if they are suffering from symptoms of disordered eating, body shame, EMDR, or trauma. Feel free to learn more by visiting our blog today!