How Can Trauma Therapy Help Me as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic or Addict?
If you identify as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and/or Addict, you might be wondering… so now what?
Could therapy help me?
As discussed in previous podcasts and blog posts, being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and/or Addict is considered trauma and the strategies one develops in response to this trauma are worthy of attention, care, and support.
Many people find 12-step groups like ACA and Alanon to be incredibly healing while others may not resonate as much.
12-Step groups can be wonderful for connecting with others who get it, however there may not be the same opportunities to dive deeply into your own unique ACA story. Whether you enjoy groups and are hoping to find additional support through individualized trauma therapy, or you don’t enjoy groups and would prefer to find therapy on its own, we’d love to talk to you more about our approach.
At Reclaim Therapy, we specialize in treating complex trauma and do so by using a blend of therapeutic modalities.
Broadly speaking, we treat trauma in three phases with an intentional focus on the therapeutic relationship:
Developing safety/stabilization.
Processing the trauma in an individualized, gradual, and safe way.
Integrating the healing/learning/work into your daily life.
To get more specific, at Reclaim Therapy we use a blend of EMDR, parts work, and somatic therapy as a way to support trauma healing.
Eye-Movement Desensitization Therapy (EMDR)
EMDR therapy is an evidence-based trauma therapy model that focuses on reprocessing trauma memories that get “stuck”. When trauma occurs, it seems to get locked in the brain with the pictures, sounds, thoughts, and feelings associated with the original trauma.
When we experience triggers in the present that resemble (consciously or subconsciously) the original trauma, we tend to experience reactions and use strategies that we did at the time of the trauma. This is the reason we hear so many people say “I wish I didn’t engage in that behavior anymore, but I just can’t seem to stop it from happening”.
It can be helpful to imagine the metaphor of a weed: many therapies and self-help practices do a great job of snipping the leaves off the weed, but shortly after we snip the leaves off, they grow right on back- the root is still firmly planted in the ground.
EMDR can support with snipping the leaves, yes, AND it works towards healing the root so that the weed doesn’t grow back time and time again.
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, or BLS, (often in the form of eye movements, but other forms of BLS can be used as well such as bilateral tapping and/or sound). BLS is thought to help unlock the system so the brain can re-process traumatic experiences safely. What’s thought to be happening through the use of bilateral stimulation is similar to what happens when we are in a dream state, or REM sleep. In REM sleep, our eye movements seem to help us process unconscious material. While using BLS, it’s important to note that you, as the one doing EMDR, are always in control.
There are 8 stages of EMDR and you can learn more about these stages in a previous blog post.
How can EMDR help me as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic?
As ACA’s, we developed specific strategies that helped us survive in our earlier environments. These strategies stick around for really good reasons, however many of us can recognize that they don’t always allow us to show up in the world in the most aligned way.
EMDR can help to process the stuck memories that are associated with those strategies. The intention is for these memories to become less charged and ultimately to reduce the reliance on strategies that no longer serve us in the same way they once did.
EMDR can be a healing modality for individuals who’ve experienced complex trauma in particular.
We often say in our practice: “slow is fast”. Especially when using EMDR for the treatment of complex trauma, it’s important that we spend the time we need in the “preparation stage” to ensure that we both feel ready to move into reprocessing. Working in the preparation stage allows us to know we are ready because we’ve developed intentional, meaningful, and applicable resources/supports for your unique needs. This is the safety/stabilization work I referenced above in the three-pronged approach to treating trauma.
Ego State/Parts Work
At Reclaim Therapy, we may use parts work as a way for you to learn more about your internal system of parts. You may have heard of Internal Family Systems, which is a type of Ego State/parts work. The therapeutic modality asserts that we all have many “parts of self” that have developed over time in response to trauma (or any overwhelming experience).
Many people like to reference the movie Inside Out which does an incredible job of demonstrating the ways in which humans are made up of multiple parts within who all work really hard to protect us in their own ways.
In therapy it can be helpful to anthropomorphize, or attribute human characteristics or behavior to, these parts of self as ways to get to know them better. The intention in getting to know our parts isn’t to get rid of them or even to integrate them into the whole, but instead the intention may be in building a trusting “self-to-part” relationship so that our parts feel seen and heard. In doing so, the hope is that we can support them and that they can support us in a mutual way.
How can Ego State/parts work help me as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic?
There are many ways to engage with parts of self. What feels important to know with regards to being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic is that we often develop parts that work really hard to protect the more vulnerable parts of us who did not get what they needed from caregivers.
In ACA circles, these parts are often referenced as the “inner child”, the “inner teen”, “the critical parent”, and “the loving parent” - just to name a few.
Parts work can be a great starting point in therapy because it provides a helpful language for therapist and client to get to know the client’s internal system. It can be integrated nicely with EMDR.
Somatic Therapy
Somatic Therapy is very much a part of EMDR and parts work as there is an intentional focus on the body.
Trauma impacts our bodies and nervous systems in so many ways. Often, when we experience trauma, it feels unsafe to be in our bodies. Somatic work can allow us to safely, in a titrated way, reconnect with our bodies and regulate our nervous systems through self-regulation strategies and co-regulation (through the therapeutic relationship).
While we just touched the surface on the ways trauma therapy can support your healing as an ACA, we want you to know it is more than possible.
My name is Abby Albright and I’m a trauma therapist who specializes in working with adult children of alcoholics.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about how I could support you in your healing process, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
🧡,
Reclaim Therapy provides trauma therapy and therapy for complex trauma in Horsham, PA.
Our therapists also specialize in providing EMDR Therapy, treating eating disorders and body image concerns. We believe that it is your right to reclaim your life from the impact of trauma, disordered eating and body-shame. We would be honored to support you in your recovery and your healing.