The Grief Pandemic: A Global View of Loss and Covid
what a year this has been
Finishing up a day at the office, picking up the kids, heading to the grocery store to pick up dinner, and coming home not realizing that our world would be turned upside down the very next day.
Next came the news alerts, posts on social media, people running to the store for all the essentials, and discussions about how long this pandemic would last.
our idea of “normal” changed within 24 hours.
Schools became virtual, masks became a regular accessory, we began working from home and learned to cook all our meals from home.
then, the losses began.
Loss of jobs, traditions, connections, community resources, and family events.
The loss of loved ones, community members, family, friends, safety, security, and financial independence soon followed.
Proms, football games, and after-school activities were canceled.
College students began their young adulthood journeys through screens in their homes, and children were isolated from their friends and teachers.
the losses came so quickly there was no time to grieve.
We only had time to adjust… and keep on moving.
Communities came together, fundraisers began, and virtual proms and weddings became a regular occurrence.
We can now order anything online! But we lost the option of feeling safe to run out to the store to grab essentials, or to engage in recreational shopping.
The losses have continued and there has been little time to grieve.
Now, in Summer 2021, we have been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic for over a year and so much has changed. We as a worldwide community have suffered many losses-people, events, safety, and concepts of the future.
The losses vary but as the world has slowly acclimated to the past year and new ideas of normalcy, we are unified in communal grief, while also processing our individual journeys of grief.
The heaviness of this past year can also be bringing up past losses that you have experienced and bringing grief symptoms along with it. Some losses are difficult for your friends, family, and community to understand- I want you to know that every loss you experience is very real and very valid.
the last year has also allowed us as a society to see the intersectionality of grief and trauma.
“Grief does not always have trauma but trauma always has grief” -David Kessler
Through the pandemic, we have experienced grief in a variety of different ways but many of us have also experienced trauma through the losses.
Losing a loved one to COVID-19, experiences within a hospital room, being laid off from a job, jobs forcing parents to be away from their loved ones, and witnessing loss while not being able to see family and friends.
Over the past year and a half, we have come to know the very real impact of vicarious trauma. Collectively, we have experienced and witnessed so much loss, so many deaths, and so much hardship.
Vicarious trauma is trauma experienced due to exposure to the trauma of others.
Vicarious Trauma Symptoms
Fatigue
Difficulty sleeping
Impacted Appetite
Anger/irritation
Intrusive thoughts
Withdrawal
Isolation
Decreased motivation
Hopelessness
frontline workers have seen the impact of COVID-19 first hand, and have/are experiencing grief and trauma as a result.
Going to work and watching the repeated traumas and loss of others leads to many symptoms that can impact mental, physical and emotional health.
Understaffing has led to limited support for the frontline workers who have been impacted.
we want you to know that we hear you, we support you, and we are here to help.
We validate the losses you have experienced and we validate your trauma.
but what is grief? and, what does it feel like?
Grief is the natural (emotional, physical, cognitive, behavioral, and spiritual) response to a death or a loss-we as emotional, compassionate, connected beings all feel grief. It is an umbrella of emotions and physical responses to a loss. How grief feels for each person is important, unique and valid-but many have come to this place of grief for the first time. Our grief therapists in Pennsylvania want you to know that feelings of grief are normal and natural.
Reasons People Come to Grief Counseling in Pennsylvania
Fatigue
Change in appetite
Lack of interest in activities
Irritability
Anger
Frustration
Anxiety
Hopelessness
Numbness
Depression
Forgetfulness
Tearfulness
Physical aches and pains
Questioning of purpose/meaning in life
This list is not exhaustive-everyone grieves in their own way in their own time.
grief can come in waves. as we settle into another season of this pandemic, reminders of losses and grief symptoms can emerge.
You are not alone. In fact, you deserve to be heard and feel understood in these moments.
Grief can be incredibly confusing, frustrating, and isolating.
The concept of grief and loss can also bring up many assumptions and ideas of what should be felt and how someone should grieve.
let’s clear those up!
“If I ignore the pain, it will go away”
Unfortunately, ignoring the pain and feelings surrounding the loss will lead to more difficulties later on. Facing your grief and processing emotions leads to true healing.
“I need to be strong throughout this process”
Though this may feel tempting as a way to protect our families or avoid judgment, it can lead to bigger challenges. Feelings are not a sign of weakness but rather of strength. Processing our feelings can help us as well as our loved ones.
“If I am not crying, it means I am not grieving the loss”
There is no right way to grieve. Grief can bring up feelings of numbness and that is natural. Grief symptoms come and go as we process them during the healing journey.
“It’s been a year and I am still not “over it, there must be something wrong with me”
There is nothing wrong with you. Grief does not have a timeline and we do not have to rush our feelings. Your grief experience is unique to you.
a simple google search regarding grief and loss can bring up many resources, but one that comes up time and time again is elizabeth kubler ross’s five stages of grief:
Denial - finding difficulty in accepting the loss. This feeling is also our mind’s process of absorbing and understanding what is happening.
Anger feelings of severe emotional discomfort. Anger is often a safe feeling that prevents the vulnerability of sadness and fear.
Bargaining- Feelings of disparity that can leave one willing to do anything to relieve the pain and hopelessness
Depression- Often presents when we begin to look at the reality of our loss, leading to moments of isolation and sadness
Acceptance-this is a point in which we no longer resist the reality of the loss and begin taking steps towards further processing the emotions stemming from the loss
Though this understanding of grief can be helpful in connecting our emotions and behaviors to a loss, it can often lead to pressure when we feel we must follow this list like a homework assignment.
rest assured, there are infinite ways to grieve.
This list is not exhaustive, it does not have to be linear in process, can happen more than once in our grieving process, and not all of them are even required! Again, your loss is unique, your emotional connection to your loss is unique, and your grief process is valid, whatever that looks like for you.
This past year has reminded us that grief can be expressed and validated in a variety of different ways. The COVID-19 pandemic has challenged our grieving process-being distanced from family, limitations regarding funerals and hospital visitations, and the grief we feel regarding the losses of others.
Now more than ever, as we are constantly exposed to our own losses and the losses of others, we want to remind you that grief is a natural response.
What you are feeling is normal and we are here to support you through this process.
As our society has become more open to the conversation of grief and loss, we now have the opportunity to connect with each other about the thoughts, feelings, and the future impacted by grief.
Here are a few types of grief that I have had the honor of hearing, understanding, and supporting as a grief therapist.
Types of Grief We Address in Grief Counseling in Pennsylvania
disenfranchised grief
Grief is not often acknowledged due to stigma, prejudice, or misunderstanding. These can include but are not limited to
Death by suicide
Infertility
Loss of a same-sex partner
Death by overdose
Loss of a home/job
Miscarriage
Loss of physical health/independence
Divorce
Loss of faith/religious identity
Cumulative grief
The emergence of multiple losses that occur within a short period of time
Loss of loved one followed by additional losses such as financial support, future experiences, future opportunities (also known as secondary losses)
The unexpected death of a loved one followed by a family member
Loss of multiple loved ones (car accident, COVID-19 pandemic, drug, and alcohol addiction)
Collective Grief
Emotions regarding a loss experienced by a group of people, a community, or a society
A Natural Disaster or a war
The death of a political figure
Widespread illness (COVID-19 pandemic)
And though there are names for various types of grief, I want to assure you that your grief does not need a name, a list of feelings or a diagnosis to be valid and supported.
Normalizing all types of losses and processing grief allows infinite permission to reach out for support through this process. You may have experienced one of these, you may have experienced a few. One of many, the present or the past, person or experience, your loss matters.
a question that is often asked when working through grief and loss is “how do I get over this? When will this feeling end?
There is no quick easy answer for this. This would all be a heck of a lot easier if we could just walk through the grief tunnel and come out on the other side symptom-free!
But we are left with these feelings of grief because we are human-we feel and we love. The same brain that allows us to feel hope, fulfillment, happiness, and gratitude also makes room for grief, sadness, hopelessness, and emptiness.
but, we can learn to process our emotions with a safe person in a safe place while also discovering ways to find meaning after the loss.
Know, you are not alone.
You may have experienced these feelings before, you may know someone who is, or you may be feeling them now. I am so sorry you are going through this it is painful and it is exhausting.
But there is a way to process the emotions, ease the suffering, and come to a place where the loss is a part of us rather than all-consuming.
As we stare down yet another season of the pandemic, and ongoing losses and grief, what steps can we take towards healing?
here are a few ways to begin your journey through your grief from a grief therapist:
Be gentle with yourself-making sure we are experiencing this healing journey with compassion, forgiveness, and respect. There is no wrong way to grieve.
Acknowledge your feelings-the only way out is through! This can be experienced in an infinite amount of ways! Journaling, painting, or speaking to a supportive person such as a loved one, grief therapist in grief counseling, or support group.
Make a list of activities/developing a routine. When emotions are unknown or unpredictable, it can be helpful to find balance in our daily activities. Whether that is a list throughout the day or keeping a relaxing morning and night routine. This can be a step towards emotional grounding throughout this process.
Reach out for support. Though this can feel uncomfortable and awkward at times, finding a grief therapist or grief counseling allows you to share your experiences and emotions in a safe place while finding tools to process your emotions.
What can this year teach us about grief and loss?
Losses can include loved ones, opportunities, a sense of normalcy, security, safety, jobs, physical and emotional health, and so many more-we are not limited in our loss. They are valid and real.
Grief is the natural progression of loss-we grieve because we are loving compassionate beings. Communal grief throughout the pandemic allowed us to see that we are not alone in our experience.
Grief has a variety of different symptoms that are unique and valid to each person
Additionally, grief does not have a timeline. Grief can come in waves with a variety of different thoughts and feelings
In fact, grief can include trauma or bring up past trauma.
Grief is not something we “get over.” Instead, grief pushes us to process how our life has changed, and will change, as a result of the loss.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
if you’re in need of support, contact us when you’re ready. our grief specialists are here and ready to support you as you navigate your losses.
As a grief and loss therapist in Pennsylvania, I want you to know that your experience with grief will always be unique.
The past year and a half have been hard (to say the absolute least!). We will never ask you to “get over” what you have felt or experienced as a result of living through the Covid-19 pandemic. What we will do is hold space for you and your story and support you as you learn different or new ways of being with your experiences and emotions.
🧡,
Begin Grief Counseling in Pennsylvania
Here at Reclaim Therapy, we love being able to work with people all over the state. Like we’ve shared, online therapy in Pennsylvania can be a great option for most people. Our grief therapists are prepared to support you in anyway we can as you process and cope with the grief, loss, and trauma. Together we can set goals and help you find healing and a sense of peace your distress and emotional overwhelm. There is a way forward, and we are happy to help. Contact us today and begin therapy!
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We provide in-person or online therapy in pennsylvania.
At Reclaim Therapy in Pennsylvania, we have dedicated grief and trauma therapists passionate about helping people in wake of loss.
We also specialize in treating trauma, body-image issues, binge, and emotional eating and eating disorders. All of our services are offered via online therapy in Pennsylvania. We’re dedicated to helping people who are struggling with these issues feel heard, seen, and understood so they can recover and heal.