Exploring Your Relationship With Social Media
I have a chaotic relationship with social media.
It’s an on-again, off-again relationship.
On the one hand, I’m grateful.
I am grateful for the ways in which it keeps me connected to loved ones when I’m not able to be with them physically. I’m thankful for learning new information about issues that I may not have stumbled upon otherwise.
It can be such a powerful force for activism and collective movements that initiate and accelerate real change. As just one example, a lot of people begin to learn about intuitive eating and anti-diet movements through these platforms.
On the other hand, I often feel agitated when I use social media.
I tend to fall into the comparison trap.
Targeted ads and filtered photos leave me feeling less than, like I need to do something (or purchase something) to feel better and worthy.
Contrary to what I shared above in regards to learning new things on social media, so much dis- and mis-information exists online, especially related to dieting, “wellness”, beauty, and health.
Christy Harrison does an amazing job in the Wellness Trap discussing the myriad of ways this shows up on social media.
So we all know that social media doesn't always make us feel great and yet we’re called back to it time and time again. It’s designed to be this way. So, what do we do?
Below are some tips I’ve found helpful in exploring my own relationship to social media.
Perhaps in reading these you'll identify some other ones not listed that you may wish to experiment with.
1. Notice how you feel before, during, and after using social media.
Can you identify specific body sensations, thoughts, and emotions?
Can you notice if any account/image/comment/ad activated any of the bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions you’re experiencing?
When scrolling, we dissociate a bit, leaving the present moment and even leaving our bodies, entering a digital space that doesn’t feel quite real. It’s very easy to lose connection to what we’re feeling. So this practice may allow us to slowly build that connection back up again, noticing our triggers and reactions.
I don’t know about you, but when I set my phone down after scrolling for a while, I often feel worse and don’t always know why. Perhaps it’s in these moments we start to scapegoat our body or food because we’re feeling less than for “some reason” [although the reason may very clearly exist in the comparison trap we get stuck in while scrolling social media].
2. Set intentions before using social media.
Get curious about why you’re engaging in the first place.
Do I want to see what someone is up to?
Do I want to post content?
Do I want to message someone?
Am I feeling bored, lonely, or some other emotion that’s driving me to open these apps? If so, that’s okay! It’s important to notice the intention regardless of what it is.
See if you can pause and set an intention for yourself before opening the app. For example, “I’m hopping online to check in with so-and-so and then my intention is to hop off because I have other stuff I would rather do than scroll all night.”
And of course, if you don’t ‘abide by’ your intention, that's okay. There was likely something online that pulled your attention - that’s how it’s designed.
Send yourself some compassion, get curious about what made it challenging to hop off, and then proceed with your day. Maybe with that compassion, you’ll be able to notice just what it was that kept you on a bit longer, allowing you to look out for it next time!
3. Set limits (if you’d like to and if you can). Here are just a few ways to set limits:
Go to your settings on your phone to set limits on certain apps.
Set an actual timer.
Set aside part of the day where you plan to use social media.
Delete the app from your phone and experiment with only using the platforms in other ways (ie. on your computer)
Set limits with who you follow. You have every right to unfollow, mute, report ads that you don’t want to see.
Algorithms are tricky little things and content you're trying to limit may still seep in. In this case, I like the game of ‘I spy diet culture’ to help call it out vs. letting it mindlessly absorb into my system.
4. Get embodied again.
Social media and the digital sphere take us away from being in our bodies.
Here are some embodiment practices to try if you’ve had a ~social media day~ and are feeling disconnected.
Check in with your 5 senses (what do you see, feel, hear, taste, smell?)
Get outside.
Tactile stimulation (ie. fidgets, play dough, knitting, or really anything in your environment. The list can go on and on).
Move your body, mindfully and joyfully.
Deep belly breaths.
Remember, your relationship with social media is like your relationship with anyone/anything else, it’s YOURS and you get to decide what serves you vs. what doesn’t.
If you scroll “a lot” and find enjoyment in it and it genuinely feels like it’s serving you, great! If you end up feeling worse when you use social media, you may be wondering, how can I engage with social media in a way that actually supports me.
It’s all a practice and an exploration.
Our team is happy to support anyone on a journey to healing their relationship with a whole lot of things, social media included!
Some folks like to build awareness through active journaling. If so, below you’ll find an iPhone note template for building your own social media awareness.
If you're someone who enjoys templates like these, feel free to create your own version in a way that makes sense to you!
Here should you need it.
🧡,
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