There I sat. Holding the hand of a man who had lost so much in the past handful of months.

Both of his legs

His career

His ability to care for himself

His identity as a man; as a provider for his family

He told me his story, openly and honestly. He told me what he longs for, his deepest regrets and his fear of what his future holds.

Then, we sat in silence. We sat with intention; holding space for these losses, for his pain, to be there, just as they were. Raw. Unedited

You've been trying so hard to discover exactly who you are and what you want out of life. You've established your 5 year plan and have launched, and re-launched, the plan to help you get to where you want to go. Surely, that will help you discover and embrace what makes you, well... you. As you travel down this bumpy road, you often wonder how you got here... is this what you really want? You have a nagging feeling that you aren't showing the world the person that you really are. You aren't sure that you know exactly who you are.

So, you do more. You fill your days with action, doing everything in your power to live up to your expectations of yourself and what you assume are society's expectations. You're starting to feel a bit like a hamster on a wheel, running as fast as you can, but never arriving at your destination.

You’ve been told, “the sky is the limit.” “The world is your oyster!” “There’s an opportunity at every corner!”

Wait…. Which corner? ….An oyster?

Who came up with this stuff, anyway?

As a 20-something you’ve launched into adulthood. When you were younger you dreamed of the time that you’d be in charge of your own life; no one to answer to but yourself. You'd decide where you work, how you'd spend your time and money and how often you'd clean your bathroom and wash your sheets.

Now that you’ve arrived, things are feeling a bit weird.

It’s 5:50am and my alarm goes off. I reach over and hit snooze, silencing the alarm and allowing myself to fall back into silence. But, what I don’t do, is actually snooze. Each day, I wake up at the same time, hit the same snooze button, and use those 5 extra minutes to set my intentions for the day. Take a minute to think about your dreams… your goals… your vision for life.

When people that we care about are hurting, it can be hard to find words to offer comfort and support. Instead of turning away out of our own discomfort, I suggest remaining present and turning toward those who are in the throes of their grief journey.